once again, loss of a lover, then a friend

maybe its not meant to thunder
and maybe its not supposed to be
maybe the longing is forever
and maybe it'll last for my
eternity

maybe its not meant to be cold
and maybe its just the air conditioning on
maybe artificial love isint helping
and maybe i still have the AC on
seventeen degrees

maybe im colder than i need to be
and maybe i dont have white leggings for school
maybe orientation is going to fuck me up
and maybe just maybe ill find another queer
friend at school

maybe this new school isint made for me
and maybe christianity is holding me on a cross
maybe jesus isint real or maybe he is
and maybe ive been forsaken by
by you

maybe you wanted to say more
and maybe you didnt have much to say but
"goodbye; its not me its us"
and maybe i agree with that, yet all that remain
is longing for you

maybe you would be happy if we worked it out
and maybe i would be happy if you stayed
but you didnt want to, and thats fine
but i couldnt be a good enough friend, after
after we stopped being lovers

after i lost you
after we stopped exhanging texts
after you dragged me into a new place to chill
and after my false self you left me in there
and now i listen to the podcast alone

and now i listen to your voice messages alone
and now longing turns to thoughts of forsaken
and now i dont know if ill find someone new
just a friend at a new school